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Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Stories of No guts & No Glory: Conversations about a loss

 


I always wished that my stories started like those textbook style “once upon a time there was a……” so on and so forth, but by the time I realized it, that moment came and gone quite unknowingly.  However, just by being a listener to many I always get a ring-side view of the latters’ stories which started in that same fabled manner!  Lucky folks! 

I always invited some kind of traction where someone, be it a known person or a stranger, comes and talks to me about many a things.  As a dear friend pointed out as (or maybe she was wrong), “my personal psychologist”…..Hell! that’s one nightmarishly dangerous involvement because even though the latter dumps all their vagaries and pain, it is for me to process it and walk through that path and bruise myself as the story moves.  Honestly, I ain’t a psychology expert nor a trained advisor in any which ways and the best I could do always were to lend an ear.  That’s all I could do….just to listen to them.  Maybe that is one bane and boon for me to carry till the end of the journey....maybe I am slotted for this catharsis of stories which pass through me.

  A month back a very sad event took place within my circle where one of my staff lost her son.  A handsome little boy of eight, hale n hearty like any other child but had to undergo a minor surgery deep in his neck.  The surgery was completed and the kid was under observation however within two hours he developed an unknown complication where he was observed to be gasping for air and eventually passed away, right in front of her. 

It happened somewhere around 1830 hrs and none among my office staff came to know about it till around 2200 hrs.  The people who came to know rushed to her home reaching there by midnight.  Early morning the body was taken for autopsy since some questions went unanswered.  The procedures were carried out and the body was handed over to the kith n kin and was subsequently taken to their village, around 100 kms from my location.  I came to know about it the next day only but by the time I was informed the cortege was already being moved towards the crematorium in that village. 

Prior to this incident the lady had informed me about the upcoming surgery of her son and that he was slightly worried about the same.  In fact the kid was so worried that he denied undergoing the surgery.  A certain growth which was obstructing his windpipe rendered him in a painful situation where he was unable to lie down and sleep.  The little kid had to sit and sleep, throughout the night for over six months.  While the situation being narrated I casually told her that if that is the case then I shall visit him and talk to him so that to make him comfortable about the surgery.  As usual, I defaulted in my promise, and couldn’t make it and before anything could have been done, that poor kid is gone. 

The guilt started to cut me, like razor which swished through subtly and make realize the pain afterwards.  Wondered how cruel time has been leaving me in a labyrinth of thoughts.  The come weekend I decided to pay a visit, a solo trip.  My colleagues who visited her home had forwarded me the location.  And I set off for their village.  The hussle-bustle of this big city slowly dissipated as and when the roads lead me to the outskirts.  Yes, Sundays have a separate warmth and vacant feeling which no other day can provide. 

I reached the village, paid my obeisance.  He looked so vibrant.  Such a sweet little boy, calm and composed he appeared.  He dreamt to become an Officer in the Navy, he was the life of the kids’ gang in that village, he was their whole n soul of that village.  Gone too soon!  I felt the pain, as a father, as a brother and moreover as an idiot who broke his promise. 

Well, men don’t cry, but in some unseen corners within the mind we all cry….I did too.  I drove back home.  Two weeks later the lady joined back the office.  We all did comfort her but no words can settle a mother’s loss.  As days passed by she went more secluded in her thoughts even though I instructed her immediate chief to keep her engaged in the work as leaving her freely would render her wander in her painful thoughts, or so I thought. 

Yesterday, as I was in my cubicle and she came to meet me.  I offered her a chair and a glass of water, which she drank hesitantly and started to speak in a very feeble voice.  She was struggling to speak as there’s physical weakness and a fog of confusion whether to speak to me or not.  Nevertheless, she started to say…..

Post surgery, the boy was brought back to the ward and was under sedation.  Since only one by-stander was allowed she was alongside him.  She remembers clearly that the kid was fast asleep.  In between the hospital staff had asked for fetching a certain medicine from the dispensary in ground floor.  She heeded and fetched the medicine quickly and returned to the room within 4 to 5 minutes only.  On return what she saw was the kid was struggling to breath with vomit and sputum coming out through his mouth and nose.  She raised alarm and the attending nurses and a doctor came running to the scene.  CPR was administered but failed to revive the pulse.  I know I am rushing here but let the exact word-to-word version be within me as it could be disturbing for many to comprehend. 

It was a terrible loss and above all being a helpless witness to it added an unprecedented agony to her.  Now she thinks that she shouldn’t have allowed for the surgery and moreover shouldn’t have left him even for a minute, the God of death was waiting to snatch him and her absence allowed him to get the boy – and in the end she has taken the entire burden upon her. 

Apparently, she has a sibling who is mentally retarded and solely is depended on her.  The lady didn’t want to marry as her sister was in such a state but somehow things passed by and now her own family and in-laws started to nag quoting “instead of that little boy, it was that mentally retarded sister of her’- kinda narratives.  Imagine, what this all boiled up into!

Why she wanted to speak to me is that she hasn’t told this fetching medicine event to anyone else as she cannot afford another round of accusation from the relatives side especially her in-laws’.  Also, how her faith in supporting her mentally retarded sister has been brought closer to jeopardize.  The lady cried a lot, perhaps watching this incident through CCTV my boss also came up to my cubicle.  We both let her cry…the immeasurable agony being ring-side viewers.  My boss assuming that she is still mourning, but unaware of what she told me only, allowed her to take a break for a few days.  But knowing her I am sure she would come back to office as there’s no other place which can grant her a little solace. 

The autopsy report is still awaited as a brief analysis of the internal organs is yet to be collated.  They shall take up the case according to the autopsy report, as of now, me and my colleagues are giving her all support.  But then again, the strange manner people open up to me once again amuses me…..why me? Why ??

Maybe my waiting for a story to start with "once upon a time.." is not yet come or maybe there aint any standard setting for starting a story and that I should thank that unknown spirit who chose me to be a listener…..nothing much to say


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